Innocence
by name here please
Summary: Kendall was there to see Katie lose everything, and he lost it right along with her. Knight sibling fluff with a healthy dash of Jatie, and very, very loosely based on Kendall and Logan's Edge of Desire cover.


So. I wrote this like two years ago but was too lazy to actually type it up. And now it's spring break and I'm BORED and I really love this story, so I hope you enjoy!

/

The screaming had been relentless for hours, and Kendall pulled 6 year old Katie closer to his body. He knew this was the one. Some odd feeling in his chest was warning him that his father would be gone before the night was over. As far as he was concerned though, Katie shouldn't have to know.

"Baby Sister, why don't you sleep? You seem tired," He whispered just loudly enough to be heard, her tiny body curled into a ball on his lap. He rocked gently, one hand cording through her hair and the other secure around her back.

Yet even at this age she was as stubborn as he was. "NO." the side of her face not squished to his chest was adamant, eyebrows bunched in an expression she'd learned from him. "Not until Mommy and Daddy come tuck me in."

A door slammed, but the argument continued, and Kendall sighed at her hopefulness. Katie was smart, but she was still young. "Katie, maybe just this one night, you could go to bed without them?"

"No."

Already on the verge of pulling out his hair, he instead drew her impossibly closer as the yelling reached its peak, almost comprehensible despite the many walls between the two separate conversations. "Why not, Katie?"

Those brown eyes, already capable of bending the strongest man to their will were pointed sorrowfully up at his own bottle green pair. "Cause they come in together. If they don't, the Daddy is gone."

And was there really anything to do other than rock her and sing quietly, hoping to lure her to sleep? Because when a child of such innocence could see the problem, why couldn't adults? Even 12 year old Kendall had seen this coming for much longer than his parents had, at it was with a heart heavy only with sadness—not surprise—that he laid a now sleeping Katie in her bed to the sound of the front door closing. Slipping out the window on hushed feet and moving quickly to Carlos' house, he knew what his father leaving had done. It had left Kendall with copious amounts of responsibility. For Katie. For Mom. For bills to be paid. For food on the table. And by the time Carlos had answered the door Kendall was shaking and mumbling "I hate him" as if it was the only thing keeping him standing.

Only later (Kendall had no sense of time, just this new emotion he'd never before felt pulsing and writhing through him and threatening to drown him in his own mind) when Logan and James had been called, and Mr. and Mrs. Garcia had gone back to bed, did Kendall finally cry. The tears were silent, and he leaned into Logan's skinny (probably too skinny, he needed to eat more) chest to hide while still accepting comfort.

/

Slowly, Kendall witnessed a change in his sister. It was subtle; hardly noticeable was the way Katie no longer joined in on their dinosaur chicken fights (which she was always an active part of, and what should have been his first clue). Inconspicuous was how she didn't point out clouds from her car window that were in the shape of some animal.

Not so unpronounced was the day she boxed up all her toys and bluntly asked her mother to donate them.

"But Katie," he attempted, "you love those dolls. What's gonna happen to their love triangle if you get rid of them?" He was thankful the guys, standing just to his left, don't say anything about this. "And your Puppy Buddy? Who will feed it, hmm?" But she had a look about her, one as solid and unbreakable as steel as she said, "I don't care, Kenny."

/

The innocence was vanishing more quickly now, Katie sinking lower and lower into this terrifying pit of reality. Each tried, none harder than Kendall, who acts had become more desperate by the day. Four months into the whole mess, Kendall knew her childhood had disappeared. Using the money that hadn't gone to his mother from his new job (shagging carts at the local grocery store was the only job available to the freshly turned 13 year old) he'd bought Katie the Hannah Montana CD she had raved about before their parents' split. He went to bed broken hearted as she politely told him to return it.

Her innocence was nonexistent, or so he thought until his door creaked open late in the night. Light footsteps allowed him to track the figure without rolling over. Only when his mattress dipped near his feet did he move, eyes meeting the gaze of a doe eyed seven year old. "Katie," he whispered. "you shouldn't be awake."

"I know," her voice was impossibly lower than his own, sounding insecure and unsure. "but I had a dream and need you to answer me a question."

He adjusted, his lithe frame getting too big for his bed. "Okay, sure. What do you need?"

She took a deep breath before taking off in the way only a child could. "I had a dream where Daddy told me love isn't real and it'll just hurt you if you try and I'm confused. If love doesn't exist, then how can it hurt you? And Logan and James and Carlos' parents love each other and I love you and mommy and you wouldn't hurt me, right? Plus, do you think love is real? Because then the dream woke me up and I need to know."

He remained silent as he decoded her rant, blinking rapidly as he tried to fabricate a reply that could answer all of those questions. "Wow, um. . .well. . .I guess love is real. I mean, I love you and mom and the guys. I couldn't imagine you all being gone."

"Me neither."

"And Katie, we would never, ever hurt you. Dad was wrong, okay? Love is real, and it _can _hurt, but it's worth trusting the ones you love, right?"

"Okay." She was quiet for a moment. "So do James and Logan and Carlos love us too?"

"Of course Baby Sister, why?"

"So I can grow up and marry James cause I love him and you can marry Logan and Carlos can live with you and me and James can live next to you?"

"Um, Katie, that isn't—" but she was content and almost asleep, so he gave in. "Yeah Katie, exactly."

"Kendall?" It was barely a murmur this time from the tiny girl.

"Yes?"

"Don't forget me like Daddy did."

(And if, the next day, Katie ran up to James and told him they were gonna get married and have a huge house and a pool, well, Kendall can pretend to ignore the flush spreading across his friend's cheeks.)

/

Katie was in track. She reached middle school, and the first thing she did was try out and make it. Today was her first meet, and no one was more excited than Kendall that she appeared to be moving on.

Except maybe James, who fidgeted and wondered and acted not at all James like at the idea of Katie losing, or worse, being amazing and winning and going out with boys and not being there to tell James how pretty he looks for his many, many dates. Whatever.

And she was. Amazing, that is. She flew through the 800 yards with a natural grace, looking for all the world that she could go on forever if she had a reason to.

/

Evidently there was a reason, because Katie's life began to revolve around track and, after his six tantrums and eighty thousand pleads, helping James for his dates (which were fewer and farther in between and being replaced with more time spent playing video games with his sister). All she'd do was run.

Run.

Run.

Run for herself, and her family, and James, and her friends, and her regrets, and her sadness.

Always her sadness.

/

Katie still had nightmares. She still crawled into his bed at least once a month. They still pretended she never showed she was scared.

He still sang to her (even though James has taken to singing to her too, using his most impressive runs and best hair flips).

No one knew. Not until Gustavo Roque came through like a tornado and blew apart his whole life and Katie was trying to make him go because she knew him better than anyone (except maybe Logan) and saw that he actually really wanted to go, but not without his friends.

Which is why, when he'd already been in LA for 3 years, he realized Katie was right again. And again. And again.

He did love singing.

Love was totally, completely real.

He _was_ going to marry Logan, and Carlos _was _going to live with them (because the only people able to resist his puppy dog eyes were Katie and Mom), and James and she _would_ get married and live next to them (because James was so obvious about his feelings for Katie it wasn't even _funny_ and Kendall wasn't _mad _because who better for his Baby Sis than his best friend, even if that best friend was so slow in making a move Kendall was ready to shove the two in a closet himself).

Katie lost her innocence, but maybe it was inevitable. This girl was bursting so bright with potential and genius that just breathing near her made you smarter, and she would be running the world by the time she was twenty. This much protection needed to shine, and never, ever be forgotten.


End file.
